How Swingers Parties in New York Work

The four kinds of night

On-premise clubs. A permanent venue with a bar, a dance floor and private rooms upstairs or behind a door. You pay at the door, the crowd changes every week, and the size can run to a few hundred people on a Saturday. Good for seeing the scene. Hard for feeling at ease.

Off-premise socials. A bar or lounge rented for the night. Everyone meets, flirts and talks. Nothing happens on site; people who click leave together. A gentle first step for nervous couples.

Private house parties. A loft, a townhouse or a rented apartment, a guest list of a few dozen at most, and a host who knows every name. This is the kind of night this site is about.

Hotel takeovers and cruises. A weekend where a group books a whole floor, a resort or a ship. Fun, expensive, and best after you already know what you like.

Why small private parties feel different

At a big club, most people are strangers to the host and to each other. At a private party, every guest was read, looked at and chosen. That changes the room. People are more relaxed, the balance of couples and single women is set in advance, and anyone who breaks the rules is not invited back.

What a private party in New York usually looks like

• A venue in Manhattan or Brooklyn, sent to confirmed guests on the day.
• Arrival in a set window, a drink and introductions first.
• A social floor where nobody is expected to do anything.
• Separate rooms for those who want them, with doors that close.
• An end time, and a cloakroom where the phones stay all night.

How to pick

Ask three questions. Who is on the guest list and who chose them? What are the rules, and are they written down? What happens to the photos and details you send? A good organizer answers all three before you ask. Our answers are on the rules page and in the FAQ.